I’m still infatuated with my writing buddies at Writers4Writers and don’t expect that to change. Here’s some updates from our recent meeting : )
When I asked if any of our members would care to teach part of a future meeting, we had a few willing and able to comply : ) I’m looking forward to them sharing their expertise in future meetings. Whether fiction or nonfiction, the creativity it takes to write effectively is a gift that we always try to improve.
We were happy to have an eighteen year old young man join our group. He told us that he had written all of his life, and shared with us his challenging past. He is courageous and powerfully creative. Naturally, my motherly instincts went on high alert – inappropriate but what can I say, once you’re a mom, its second nature.
I was excited to hear that two of our members had already struck up a collaborative effort on a screen play – I can’t wait to hear about their progress – who knows we might even see it on the big screen some day : )
It’s my intention to start a private, members only Writers4Writers Facebook Page to enable members to connect with each other between meetings : )
One fiction writer waxed poetic on his life as a writer, “the world we create is a great place to be when you want to get away from reality.” Another psychoanalyzed us by saying that we “are all masochists to some degree – the first draft is easy but then editing is where writers are [really] born.”
Some excitedly wanted to share their work and receive feedback, others had no intention of exposing themselves publically – case closed, end of story. My reaction is that it’s all good – I want this writers group to be a safe place for what each individual needs from the group, without judgement.
This time, I wanted to read and receive suggestions. I am entering the 2nd Annual Memoir Showcase in San Diego. If chosen, my monologue would have the opportunity to be presented by an actor on the Horton Grand Theatre stage : ) I wanted to make my submission be the best that I could make it and where better to workshop my efforts than here?
I reviewed with everyone, our Writers4Writers Feedback Guidelines that we had established last time. I have no doubt that some more calloused by years of critiques might roll their eyes. However, others are grateful that we have established intentional boundaries to be fully present and provide constructive feedback keeping the Golden Rule in the forefront of our minds. I had shown my current version of my work only to two other people. I hoped my anti perspirant was still working : ) I advised them that no matter how many times I revised my work, the 5 page limit, always was exceeded by half a page. I felt heckled by my dislike of math : ( On the one hand, the page limit seemed arbitrary. My need to let my creative juices flow was frustrated by what felt like shackles. On the other hand, I knew their goal was to be able to present as many transformative memoirs as possible, in a limited amount of time. But what if the limitation actually was what created the opportunity to squeeze my entry into the production? Crap. I toyed with the thought of turning it in as is – with the extra half page – but what if they followed the rules strictly and refused to consider my entry because it exceeded their requirements? My writing coach advised me that fighting rules just went along with creatives : ) While I was well-acquainted with my dislike of other people’s rules, I never had blamed it on the fact that I was a writer. Well I’ll store that in my excuse bucket for next time : ) I wanted any type of advice the members could provide.
I began by apologizing for the swearing that they were about to hear – don’t worry, not because of their critique, but exploding missiles have a tendency to bring to the foreground my profanity. I took a swig of my Perrier and proceeded to read my pages as engagingly as I could. This was essentially the first chapter of my book that I am writing altered by the impact of how this dramatic experience changed me. It is the true story of our family vacation in Israel, July 2014, when we found ourselves in the middle of a war. Think touring by day, and bomb shelters at night. This was the first time that we had to scramble to a bomb shelter.
When I finished the last sentence, there was a pause, and then thankfully, applause : ) That was a relief, but then insecurity wormed it’s way in – are they just being polite, since I founded this group? My writing coach later on tried to reassure me that people are just not that well-mannered, but I still wonder. It’s so difficult after revisions ad infinitum, to be able to see what you’ve written with objectivity and alertness. You become so intimate with your work that you don’t see the written words on the page. Overall, the group liked it – there were plenty of detailed compliments good word choice, good narrative, entertaining, good pace, I was right there with you, I was emotionally caught up in the story.
Then there was the feedback harder to hear – it essentially equated to Writing 101 – “Show, Don’t Tell” the writer’s mantra. Really, how many times did I review this moment in time for that very thing? Yet, here I was hearing it was time to go back and revisit this another time. One of our members, who teaches writing, suggested that I use two different colors on my computer which would help me visually discern one from the other. It also would give me a good indication of what proportion was Show, and what proportion was Tell. She advised her tolerance level was 75% Show and 25% Tell, but admitted that different reviewers have different standards. My writing coach is more comfortable with the 80/20 Rule.
I realized that they were absolutely right. I looked at everything once again with fresh eyes for details and then revised, revised and revised some more. I tried doing what the writing teacher had suggested and don’t know if I was more distressed or amused. When I would try to evaluate whether a sentence was one or the other – I would have a war with myself. I wanted to make excuses that the sentence was Show, not Tell because it was in the middle of the scene, and just needed to be like that – at least to me. What was that all about? Time to reset my mind or their advise would not be effective : (
The bottom line for me was that I am extremely grateful for all of their comments. I’m sure that the final product that I’m submitting is far better than it would have been without their knowledgeable opinions and suggestions. Everyone was respectful and approached the readings with the intention of helping to make the work better. I can’t say that it was easy to hear the feedback when it turned to what I needed to be told – but it was essential.
Once I submit my five pages (yeah, I did it: ), the wait will begin and so too the incessant questioning. Is it good enough? When will I hear if they accept it – I know the stated announcement date, but emotionally I want to know, now. In my heart, this feels right, but how can I prepare myself to deal with rejection, if they don’t choose it? In my more mature moments, I’m hoping that I will manage to tell myself, that I did my best, I can’t control what happens now and to just let it go. What the result is, is what was supposed to be. It’s truly what I believe, and living it, is just another lesson to practice – but it’s not easy.
Speaking later with another member of the group regarding what receiving pointers felt like, I had to admit that next time I will wear a girdle to shore up my backbone. Nonetheless, I couldn’t be more grateful for the experience. I also advised some others who wanted to avoid this opportunity at all costs, to take advantage of another solution. Perhaps a better way for them to start sharing was by exchanging their work with 1-2 other members, to feel less exposed. I offered for them to send their work to me privately and I would give them my two cents. I had toyed with the idea of breaking into smaller groups for more intimate discussions about people’s work. However, I truly believe, keeping the group larger afforded the most bang for our feedback buck. Perhaps in the future, that can be an option that we periodically offer based on the feelings of the writers. What we are all seeking is improving our writing – not a visit to the therapist : )
Other readings were given and another writing mantra was discussed – you need to be sure of your audience, preferably before you begin to write.
The first was offered linking the science of esoteric topics such as String Theory, Quantum Mechanics and parallel universes with the startling imagery of the question – what if we found that we were all living within a game? I had found a kindred spirit who enjoyed some of the same spiritual leaders that I have studied like Jean Houston. His conclusion was that we are all one. I smiled broadly in agreement.
Another dealt with a classic, and true coming of age story – complete with Big Kid, the bully.
Our new, young member treated us to an exceptionally creative story of fiction – welcome to the fantastical world of the cyber-junkie. It was clear that his ability and need to write oozed from his pores.
Finally, we listened to a poignant, captivating tale of how a girl, fighting cancer, cast a spell on a magician.
OK, I’ve said it before, I just love these writers. I find my time spent with them educational and inspiring. If this peaks your interest, come join us. We meet next time, March 9, 2016 at the Rancho Santa Margarita Library from 6-8:30. RSVP here, and get ready for a fun, deliciously creative and informative evening.
4 The Love of Words & Writers,
Join Me On My Journey…