How often as parents with toddlers, have we said “Use your words”? We acknowledge that our kids, not being able to express their feelings of fear, anger and frustration can lead to acting out – like throwing something. In their angst, they feel the need to do something – anything to communicate that frustration.
Recently, I was interviewing Shaul Judelman. He is one of the founders of Roots, a community Peace organization that works in the West Bank/Judea Samaria. They are dedicated to fostering a grassroots movement of understanding, nonviolence and transformation among Israelis and Palestinians. Shaul was telling me how in the West Bank/Judea Samaria, the Israelis and Palestinians live together, yet live separate lives. Most people rarely speak to each other. Now I don’t kid myself, there are many deep-seated reasons for this, not least of which results in fear, distrust, rage and murder. But one fact stuck out in my mind. Even if they wanted to, most people don’t speak each other’s language! Often in our daily lives, we take the power of words and the ability to speak, for granted. As a writer, I believe words are very important and I spend countless hours trying to choose the right one to convey my message.
Even what each calls the area where they live and work differs and expresses so much meaning. To the Palestinians, the West Bank is THEIR land, occupied illegally. To the orthodox, Israeli settlers, it is Judea Samaria, the Holy land where Abraham and Isaac breathed life into their beloved, Biblical stories. Calling the land “occupied” denies their rights to the land. Add to this the military presence and the real, difficult and complex issues get even more convoluted like peeling back the layers of a rotten onion – it’s messy and smells very bad.
As I’ve studied the complexities of Israeli life, I’ve been surprised so many times. In the United States, we gratefully live in our safe bubble and it takes effort to learn what’s going on. Trying to fit that into our incredibly hectic schedules, well it’s hard and seemingly impossible to get everything done, that we’d like.
Shaul told me the following story about how the lack of speaking each other’s language dangerously impacted one young Palestinian hero…
In Hebron, there was a group of yeshiva (orthodox school) kids, driving around town, who took the wrong turn. I can’t help but imagine my son as he will be getting his driver’s permit this year. Every parent knows the anxiety when contemplating the thought of our kids driving for the first time. Parents in the West Bank, have even more to be concerned about – with all of the rock throwing and car rammings happening on a daily basis. The teenagers accidentally went into a Palestinian neighborhood. A young Palestinian boy saw what happened and managed to guide the kids to a friendly, safe Palestinian home to hide until the authorities could come and escort them safely from the area.
When the young hero went to find some Israeli soldiers to come rescue the boys, he is faced with a dilemma. He doesn’t speak Hebrew. He runs up to the first soldiers he finds. He’s very agitated and excited and desperate to communicate to the soldiers. He thinks the longer this takes, the more peril there is to the Jewish boys AND to the family hiding them.
What the soldiers see is an agitated, Palestinian boy. This probably put the soldiers on high alert. What does this boy want? Does he have a concealed weapon? This is the real deal. These confusing, life-threatening situations and interactions happen all the time here. As if communication in a normal world isn’t difficult enough. The soldier only has very basic, rudimentary knowledge of Arabic. The lack of understanding of each other’s language is fully apparent and can potentially end in tragedy. The soldier wasn’t understanding, so the boy moved on to find more soldiers who might be more fluent in his language. It took three different attempts, the boy later explained. He believes that he was almost shot twice before he found a soldier who understood more Arabic and could realize what the boy was trying to communicate to him. Was he really almost shot? We don’t know, but we can easily understand the fear that was rampant for both the boy and the soldiers in the situation. Ultimately, the youngster was able to find some soldiers to help him and the boys were escorted safely out of the neighborhood and home.
It sounds like this story has a happy ending – the yeshiva boys are safe at home in the welcoming and grateful arms of their families. I’m sorry to say that it does not. What happened to our hero, the young Palestinian boy? He is being taunted by his Palestinian neighbors. How could he help an Israeli? They are their enemy! So many of their families have been harmed, humiliated, jailed and killed. If it had been an Israeli child who had helped Palestinians, a similar, reaction could have been possible – how can you help Palestinians? They throw stones, ram us with their cars causing serious and sometimes fatal accidents and stab us on the street! Sadly, the boy’s family is talking about sending him away for a while until the atmosphere can calm down.
It’s under these circumstances that Shaul and the people at Roots work on Peace on a daily basis. He says a friend of his describes the situation this way, “Trying to get Palestinians and Israelis speaking to each other is like asking them to sleep (willingly) with the person who is raping you.”
Yet at Roots, they do try and they do have many individual successes, one step at a time. I can’t say that it’s easy – far from it, but it’s their life and commitment to a better one for their families that makes them move forward. When as parents we see our kids throwing things out of frustration, we are advised to try and understand their world, through their eyes. I absolutely abhor violence and know for sure, in my heart that it only makes matters worse. I just wish I could yell, “STOP!” but that won’t work either. However, trying to see the situation from another’s perspective, promotes understanding. This process is slow, emotionally painful and essential. Roots facilitates this mutual understanding well as they encourage seeing from the others’ perspective. In the many varied programs that are offered at Roots, learning each other’s language is just one of them. It’s basic and indispensable.
If you are in the Orange County or Los Angeles California area, two members of Roots are on a fundraising tour at the end of March and beginning of April. Come listen to two people I consider heroes, tell their stories first hand. Specifically, if you would like to donate to help bring these inspirational speakers to Orange County or help with the project, please contact me at www.PennySTee.com Join Me On My Journey…